


pick up the phone

by oikawakkun



Series: HQ Angst Week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Day 2 - text/call + Insecurity + "Was I Ever Enough", Drunk Dialing, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Miya Atsumu Swear A Lot, Miya Atsumu-centric, Multiple Endings, Post-Break Up, but it's so vague y'all wont really need to worry, no beta we just die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27352111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawakkun/pseuds/oikawakkun
Summary: Where there's more than one ending.Or: Atsumu doesn't think he could ever deserve Tobio again.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu
Series: HQ Angst Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998721
Comments: 11
Kudos: 168





	pick up the phone

**Author's Note:**

> the tiers for Day 2 were a lot of fun to work with so here i am with another angsty atsukage fic :')
> 
> this concept was something i've been meaning to try myself and i hope i didn't mess it up.
> 
> Now, in [Vietnamese!](https://tttt3t.wordpress.com/2020/11/07/trans-pick-up-the-phone/)

_"What if, in another universe, I deserve you?"_

**_— Gaby Dunn_ **

* * *

**A.**

Atsumu doesn't drunk dial Tobio's number in the middle of the night.

His fingers hover over the same name in his contacts for a few more seconds before the sudden urge to throw his phone across the room overtook him.

_Why hasn't he deleted Tobio's number yet?_

The taste of cheap alcohol is stuck on his tongue and his fingers shake as he emptied the glass bottle of its content desperately. His eyes are bloodshot from the alcohol in his veins and the lack of sleep so he lets his head slump over the sofa cushion, too tired and unbearably empty.

Atsumu knows he looks like a complete mess right now, he has been for the past fourth months.

_Ever since you broke up with him,_ he reminds himself.

He wants to get mad. Mad at Tobio for leaving him. And mad at himself for letting him go.

_Fuck, he was pathetic._ Atsumu thought as he puts his shaking hands up to cover his face, willing himself to calm down. When he's finally able to breathe evenly, he slowly puts his arms down and the sight on his living room greets him, the broken glass of a picture frame and the books that litter the floor stare at him in silence.

Atsumu stays still, miserable and hollowed out. But he doesn't call Tobio.

He falls asleep after a few more hours of staring into nothing and when he wakes up that morning, he tells himself he's going to move on. That he's going to forget Kageyama Tobio.

He never does.

**B.**

Atsumu's drunk and he dials Tobio's number in the middle of the night.

Tobio answers at the third ring, his voice is rough and groggy from sleep and Atsumu is suddenly hit with the feeling of missing him all over again.

"Hello?" Tobio says, sleep still mixing with his voice and Atsumu knows that he didn't bother to check the caller ID, he never does.

"..."

"Atsumu?"

He hangs up immediately.

He goes to sleep and forgets ever calling Tobio when he woke up the next morning.

**c.**

Atsumu doesn't get drunk on his own that evening. He lets Osamu and his friends drag him to a bar he can't remember the name of. The drinks keep coming and Atsumu lost track of the amount he's drank, Osamu is off with Suna and the rest of his friends are out dancing and Atsumu's on his own once again.

He sees a pair of deep blue eyes on a pretty face with dark raven hair, and for a moment he wants to believe the stranger is someone else. Someone who he's been thinking of for the past four months.

The man sees Atsumu staring and he smiles, eyes half lided and taunting.

He's smile is different, too much teeth and he's dressed in a way Tobio would never be caught dead wearing.

But Atsumu smiles back, the way he knows gets people's attention, and he makes his way over.

The blue eyed stranger gives him a different name that Atsumu doesn't bother remembering but Atsumu doesn't let his smile drop.

He spends the rest of the night with the man (who's name isn't Kageyama Tobio) and pretends he can replace the whole in his heart with alcohol and another pair of deep blue eyes.

He still ends up screaming Tobio's name later on that same evening.

**D.**

It's 3 AM when Atsumu wiped his mouth after finishing the entire bottle of vodka. He presses the call button on his phone and waits for the the other line to pick up.

He doesn't hang up when he hears Tobio's voice once he answered after the third ring.

"Hello?" Tobio says, sleep still mixing with his voice and Atsumu knows that he didn't bother to check the caller ID, he never does.

"..."

"Atsumu?"

"I miss you," Atsumu chokes at the words, "I miss you a whole fuckin' lot." 

"You can't say that to me right now." Tobio hisses, sounding furious and hurt and shit Atsumu shouldn't have called. But it's too late and the sound of Tobio's voice does something to Atsumu's chest and he wants to keep hearing him talk.

"M'sorry... Fuck... Tobio, I miss you so much I wanna cry." Atsumu doesn't even try to stop the words from coming out of his mouth, the alcohol making his mind race and his lips loose.

Tobio is silent on the other line.

And Atsumu, in his drunken state, thought that it was a good idea to keep talking, spilling more truths that he's kept hidden for the past four months out in the open.

"I want you here with me," Atsumu starts, "I wanna hear your voice."

"You're drunk." It wasn't a question and Atsumu knows Tobio's trying to keep his voice even from the way he's breathing on the other line.

"Yeah... was tryin' to forget." Atsumu confessed. "Ya know it's funny, they said drinking helps people forget all the pain, but all it did was made me remember even more." He laughs bitterly and he hears Tobio ask him "Forget what?" so softly that Atsumu feels his heart breaking all over again.

"Us. The break up. It hurts too much to remember." Atsumu didn't feel like talking anymore, but he keeps going anyway. "It didn't really work though, I still remember and I'm still fuckin' miserable without ya." Atsumu wants to hang up, but Tobio's still on the other line and Atsumu wants him to stay a little longer.

"Ya know, the only thing the alcohol made me forget was to not call you." Atsumu laughs like he said a funny joke. "I fucked up again, Tobio. That's probably the only thing I'm good at—"

"That's not true." Tobio cuts him off, voice shaking and _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Tobio's crying on the other line.

He made Tobio cry.

_Why does he keep making Tobio sad?_

"You're crying... Fuck... M'sorry Tobio." Atsumu tries to apologize, hot tears are trailing down his face but he doesn't bother to wipe them. "I shouldn't have called, I'm so sorry Tobio. I didn't mean to make you cry— I never wanted to— I'm sorry, I keep fucking up."

"Did you ever regret it?" Tobio's voice was still so soft and Atsumu's heart must've been breaking under the weight of loving someone so much because he _can't_ breathe. "Did you ever regret breaking up?"

"I'd take it all back if I could."

"Did you ever regret loving me, Atsumu?"

"Never."

_'I love you so much.'_ Atsumu wanted to say.

But he feels his body slip and he knows he dropped his phone on the floor as he feels consciousness slip away from him. His eyes close and everything fades to black. He'll probably forget everything once he wakes up, he should've apologized to Tobio for that too. 

_He was so pathetic._

**E.**

Atsumu doesn't drink that evening. But he does call Kageyama Tobio.

He doesn't let the hurt and misery swallow him whole this time, he lets the pain fuel him to take another step forward until he's standing right in front of Tobio's apartment, knocking on the familiar door and calling the same name that's been haunting his mind for the past four months— the same name that's been etched into his soul.

Tobio opens the door looking like a literal angel and Atsumu opens his mouth with a barely formed apology at the very tip of his tongue, the anniversary present he never got the chance to give Tobio since their break up is in his hand. 

A red velvet box with an expensive ring he hand picked himself with Miwa months ago when the idea of marriage and growing old together was only a few steps away.

"I want to be able to deserve you."

_I'm still in love with you._

"Please, Tobio." Atsumu whispered, voice pleading and desperate. "Let me try one more time."

_I won't let you go a second time._

Tobio doesn't close the door on his face but Atsumu felt his cheek sting from the hard slap Tobio sent him the moment he stopped talking with tears falling from his deep blue eyes. He's about to apologize again but Tobio's already grabbing his hand and leading him inside with a smile on his face.

The same smile Atsumu fell in love with. 

"Took you long enough, idiot." 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, kudos and comments give me life! also, feel free to drop by and scream at me on [twt](https://twitter.com/oikawakkun)


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